Evolve or Repeat
During a time when the world is experiencing a pandemic, many of us are under shelter-in orders with little access to the outside world. Spending so much time with ourselves without the distractions we’ve become accustomed to; has created space for reevaluating our lives. I have been in a space of reflection, and everything seems to be coming up for me all at once. Who I am, the decisions I’ve made, the relationships I have engaged in, and the direction my life is moving in. I have noticed a pattern while examining my relationships and decisions. This pattern has been like a shadow that has followed me throughout my life. I realize that had I not done the work to resolve the trauma that created this pattern of thinking and behavior; I would have been destined to repeat it for the rest of my life. When dealing with the issues and trauma that has shaped our lives we only have 2 choices...evolve or repeat.
I believe every relationship comes into our lives with a purpose. Some relationships are here to teach us how to treat others, some relationships are here to teach us how to treat ourselves, some relationships are here to stretch us and force growth, and others are here to facilitate healing that brings about joy. But all relationships are here to teach us. They teach us things about ourselves that we could never learn without the extreme emotions attached to it. The pain of betrayal, the devastation of loss, and the sadness of disappointment; are all catalysts to examine ourselves. We must identify the lesson, release the pain, and break the pattern in order to grow.
The relationships in my life have triggered my childhood wounds of abandonment and neglect. In the past, I subconsciously chose relationships that ultimately reinforced those wounds. After a devastating breakup with a narcissist; I was able to see that I was unknowingly choosing relationships that mirrored my childhood trauma. After 2 years in therapy, I understood that I had to resolve those issues in order to attract and engage in healthy relationships. This was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, but I understood that if I did not resolve this trauma...I would repeat the cycle.
Recently I’ve been in situations that were old and familiar. However, because of the work I have done and continue to do; I was able to make a different choice. I have no doubt that making a different choice has changed the trajectory of my life, and the quality of my relationships. This is evolution. If I had made the same choice I would end up in the same place, but choosing to do something different has broken the cycle, and made space for healthier people and experiences to enter my life.
I pray that while we are isolated from others we get in touch with ourselves in a way that brings about understanding, healing, and change. Evolve or repeat have been the 3 words that have changed my life in a profound way, and I hope it does the same for you. I’m here to help facilitate those on a journey towards healing and understanding. Click the link to register for my FREE 1 hour Virtual Healing Circle this Friday April 10, 2020 at 8 PM (EST), and don’t forget to comment below. Stay safe and take care.